Olympic Challenge - Guest post

Today's post is brought to you by my sweet doggie, Maddy. She actually has a good Southern Girl name: Madeline Rae. I just wouldn't be a good mommy if I didn't give my girl two first names.

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Oh - sorry! I forget y'all don't read Dog. I get so used to texting my friends and talking to them on Myspace in Dog that I forget you probably aren't fluent.

I have a really hard life, you know? There's constant abuse and I'm always the victim. They starve me, neglect me, and even make me POOP IN THE YARD. How embarassing is that? What if my friends see me? My reputation would be ruined if word got out. Fortunately, I'm intellectually superior to those other dogs and they can't read this. Well, except for my homegirl Princess. She's a smart bitch, but Tracey won't let her get on the computer. Something about fur in the keyboard. Whatever. Stupid rules.

Anyway, back to me. I like to look good and have very high standards of what is acceptible. Mommy gets all these stupid human ideas and tries to put shirts on me but seriously. I'm covered in beautiful fur. Why would you cover this up? My natural beauty is enough.

I have simple requests: bling, leopard print, and a scarf. I've been staying up late every night with Mommy watching the Olympics and it's kinda lame. I can do all that stuff and no one gives me a medal! I can do all that and more! I nap in the 100mx4 relay with the best of them. I can empty a food bowl in 20 seconds flat. None of these jerks can do that. Especially the two I live with. GOD. They're so lame. Always going to "work" and not focusing on my needs. I require constant supervision. How else can my needs be catered to 24/7? Stupid parental units. I can't wait until I'm 18 and can get my own apartment.

So back to me and my fabulous style. I was chillin out on the balcony when Al came out and said he needed me to sit and look beautiful - DONE.

Perfection. Actually, any photo of me is perfection because, well, I'm Maddy and I am a badass. My red, white, and bone scarf came from Mommy. She's always shopping and comes home with these for me. Better than the ones I find on ebay for sure. I have no idea what that joker Al is wearing. Probably something Mommy helped him buy. She sure does shop a lot, huh?

Alright, I've wasted way too much time on you people. I have things to do and sunbeams to lie in.

Peace and woofs,
Maddy Dog

Wow...who knew Maddy had such a "voice." Goodness! My apologizes for her brazen ways...I cannot control the diva! I hope everyone has a great weekend and keeps up the Madditude!